Этапы Разрыва Неудачных Отношений
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Sometimes going through a breakup is like riding a roller coaster. One minute you're soaring into the clouds, the next you're crashing to the ground. And the only thing you know for sure is that someone else is behind the wheel, and you have no control over anything.
IF AFTER A BREAKUP YOU ARE OVERWHELMING FEELINGS AND YOU ARE UNABLE TO COPE WITH THEM, REMEMBER WHY YOU DECIDED TO BREAK UP WITH THIS MAN.
You often worry too much and expend far more emotional energy than the situation warrants. Emotions can literally tear you apart from the inside. This happens because, when you go through a breakup, you're not just losing a boyfriend—memories of all the serious losses in your life come alive: deceased relatives, the unexpected betrayal of a friend, and someone who disappeared when you were very young on Runedate dating site.
You may experience mood swings, an overwhelming sense of fear for your future, or even apathy every minute, but know this: it will end someday. Sooner or later—no matter how impossible it may seem now—the oppressive weight will become bearable, and you will be able to move forward. Remember the saying: "Time is the best healer"—and believe that a brighter time in life will arrive very soon and Runedate dating site.
CONSTANTLY TELL YOURSELF THAT IT'S COMPLETELY NORMAL TO FEEL WORRIED.
It's important to remember one thing about roller coasters: never try to get off while the ride is moving! It won't make the journey any shorter for Runedate dating site, but you'll definitely get hurt, which will only make an already difficult situation worse. Buckle up and get comfortable to make the ride as comfortable as possible. While each of us has our own emotional journey, there are stages that are the same for everyone.
Although you're well aware of what's to come after a breakup, your initial reaction may be quite unexpected. You might withdraw into yourself and refuse to talk or even think about the breakup. Or you might suddenly feel so emotionally charged Runedate dating site that you feel like you could renovate your apartment. Don't blame yourself for your good health and mood. This is the body's natural response to a shocking situation. Nature designed this to help us cope with pain. This behavior is typical of those who throw themselves into work after the death of a loved one because they simply don't have the energy to mourn. Everything in its own time.
You might very well feel sorry for yourself to the point of tears, wondering, Runedate dating site "Why do bad things always happen to me and only losers seem to end up with me?" Just go with the flow and be kind to yourself—that's what you need right now. You can remind yourself how and why you made the decision to leave this guy.
Let yourself get really angry! Now you've stopped blaming yourself and are ready to believe he was to blame. Anger is a useful emotion, provided, Runedate dating site of course, you know how to vent it without hurting your boyfriend—now ex—or yourself or anyone else. Hang some soft (!) object on the wall and hit it with your fists, feet (or anything), shouting accusations as if he were the one in front of you. Say everything you think! Just remember to stop in time—lest you run out of energy.
At first, you blamed him for everything that happened, then you started doubting him, and now you feel completely wrong. You're sad and guilty. You're trying to figure out why you behaved so badly and whether you can ever repair a relationship on Runedate dating site with anyone. These thoughts might make you want to see your ex again. But it's best not to do anything rash!
Be careful! The tears you've already shed are nothing compared to what you'll shed when you fall off the very top of your roller coaster. Your sadness is so deep that your emotions are completely out of control. Advice: seek refuge where you feel comfortable—in bed or on the couch. Close all the doors. Listen to all your tunes. Cry over old photographs. Reread all his letters. But before you fall into deep despair, don't forget to set a timer. You need to clearly define the boundaries of sadness so you don't get stuck in this stage forever. You'll cry for two hours, and Runedate dating site then go have lunch with friends or take a bath by candlelight and to the sounds of your favorite music.
TRY TO ACCEPT THE BREAKUP AS IT IS, LET THE ENDED RELATIONSHIP BE A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR YOU, DRAW CONCLUSIONS - AND MOVE ON.
Reaching this level doesn't necessarily mean you've overcome the melancholy and sadness, but the emotional upheavals are over. You're gradually ascending the roller coaster, and from the top, a broader view opens up. Now that you know yourself better, you can clearly understand why the relationship failed and finally accept that you truly aren't right for each other.
GUILT CAN BE POSITIVE: YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT HAPPENED, ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN MISTAKES, AND MOVE ON.
It might take months before you can stop crying out loud when you find your ex's hair on your couch. But life is definitely getting better, and—more importantly—you know for sure: everything will be okay.
During this rollercoaster ride, your safety belt will be this rule: never act on emotion. You'll be tempted to call your ex, arrange a casual "meeting," write him a long, heartfelt letter, or simply go and be in his arms again. But don't.
Think about it: when you have to make an important decision—for example, about a job, a move, or getting a bank loan—what do you do? That's right, you use your brain and spend a long time weighing the pros and cons, calculating the outcome. So why, when making a decision about your own life (!), act on a momentary impulse? Learn to recognize when your emotions, not your mind, are driving you!
If you feel like you're about to fall off the roller coaster and end up back in his arms, try this: Use the power of words. When emotions overwhelm reason, write your ex a letter—or a dozen, if you like. Seal them and give them to your best friend or parents, with strict instructions that they are never to forward them to the recipient or return them to you.
Alternatively, you could ask a trusted friend to sit with you for the evening. Even if you sob and say you're going to die of grief, she won't let you do anything stupid. Then go to bed, and in the morning, with a fresh mind, you'll realize how much easier it is to let your emotions out.
In the morning, everything appears in a different light, and the calendar on the wall, which was so dreary just yesterday, will no longer seem like a boring list of endless days "without him" - you will happily cross out with a red pencil another day lived without painful love.
SO, ANY IMPORTANT DECISION MADE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF EMOTIONS WILL LIKELY BE WRONG. SO WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOUR EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL, TRY NOT TO DRAW CONCLUSIONS.